The Friend Everyone Still Called

On November 2, 1973, Ringo Starr released his third solo album, Ringo. What made this album special wasn’t just the music. It was the fact that all four Beatles appeared on it.

Unfortunately, John, Paul, George, and Ringo weren’t all in the studio together. But each of his former bandmates contributed to the album, something that hadn’t happened since the Beatles broke up.

And when you consider what was going on between the former Beatles at the time, that’s pretty remarkable.

The breakup hadn’t exactly been friendly. There were disagreements over management, money, Apple Records, and just about everything else. John and Paul weren’t getting along. George had his own issues with Paul. There were lawsuits and a lot of hard feelings.

Through it all, everyone got along with Ringo.

John Lennon wrote “I’m the Greatest” for the album and joined Ringo in the studio along with George Harrison, Klaus Voormann, and Billy Preston. For a brief moment, three of the four Beatles were making music together again.

George co-wrote “Photograph” with Ringo, wrote “Sunshine Life for Me,” and played on several tracks. Paul and Linda McCartney wrote “Six O’Clock” for the album and contributed to the recording.

The album also featured an impressive collection of musicians, including Marc Bolan, Harry Nilsson, Nicky Hopkins, Steve Cropper, and several members of The Band.

And it was a huge success.

Ringo reached No. 2 on the Billboard album chart, kept out of the top spot by Elton John’s Goodbye Yellow Brick Road. “Photograph” and “You’re Sixteen” both reached No. 1, while “Oh My My” made it to No. 5.

Not bad for the guy who was often considered the least talented member of the Beatles. And unfairly at that.

But the thing that interests me most about this album isn’t the guest musicians or the hit singles.

It’s Ringo.

While the other three Beatles were fighting with one another, Ringo managed to maintain a friendship with all of them. They might not have wanted to work together, but they were all willing to work with him.

He was the guy everyone still called.

The more I thought about Ringo’s relationship with the other Beatles, the more I realized that he and I might have something in common.

Getting the Gang Back Together

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the guy who organizes reunions.

I grew up in a small Kansas town with a population of about 1,200 people. My graduating class had 28 students. That’s right, 28.

Most of my high school classmates still live in the town or the surrounding area. I live about an hour and a half away, but I don’t get back very often anymore. I don’t have any family living there, and it’s been more than a year since my last visit.

But I still enjoy getting everyone together.

Our high school reunions aren’t elaborate affairs. I usually recruit a few friends to help with the arrangements. Our last reunion was pretty much a spur-of-the-moment gathering at the local bar.

Nothing fancy. Just old friends getting together, telling stories, and catching up.

And, of course, there’s music.

For some of our reunions, I’ve put together playlists consisting entirely of songs from our high school years. I have a pretty extensive music collection, so finding enough songs has never been a problem.

I remember one reunion, long before Spotify, when a classmate asked me where I found all the music.

I told him I owned it.

He couldn’t believe it.

He said there were songs he hadn’t heard in years, and he was amazed that the music had been playing all that time without repeating a single song.

I got a kick out of that.

That’s one of the things I love about music. You hear a song you haven’t heard in 40 years, and suddenly you’re back in high school. Maybe you remember a party, the girl you had a crush on, or just driving around town with your buddies in your ’65 Cadillac. (Story for another time, but yes, four friends and I owned a Cadillac together.)

And when you’re sitting around with people who were there with you, those memories are even better.

Back to College

My college reunions are a different animal.

It all started in 2004 when my buddy Bobby, who was living in Chicago, wanted to come back to Lawrence for a KU basketball game. Our other college roommate, Mock, was also living in Chicago and decided to come along.

I rounded up some of the guys who lived in the Kansas City area, and a couple of others joined us, including one from Seattle and another from Illinois.

It was just us fellas.

We went out to the bars on Friday night and attended the basketball game on Saturday. If I remember correctly, I had the flu earlier that week and wasn’t sure if I would be able to attend, but thankfully I was feeling better by the weekend.

We had a great time.

A few years later, in 2007, we started talking about doing it again. This time, we decided on a football game because tickets were much easier to get for a large group.

And what a year to pick!

The 2007 KU football team had one of the greatest seasons in school history. The Jayhawks finished 12-1 and won the Orange Bowl. Things have gone downhill since then, but we don’t need to talk about that.

We followed pretty much the same routine as before. Friday night at the bars and Saturday at the game. We played Baylor that day, and I remember the game being delayed by the weather before they finally got it underway.

After that reunion, some of the women we went to college with saw the pictures on Facebook and weren’t too happy that they hadn’t been invited.

I guess we hadn’t thought that one through very well.

So we decided that going forward, we’d include everyone and try to get together every other year.

And here we are, nearly 20 years later, still getting together every other year. Our next reunion is in 2027.

We’ve become a little more civilized over the years.

These days, we usually start with dinner on Friday night. I try to find a restaurant with a private room so everyone can move around, mingle, and catch up.

Saturday is built around a KU home football game.

My wife and I bring our tailgate setup, including a couple of canopies, tables, chairs, coolers, and everything else that goes along with it. She puts together some food, others bring things to share, and before long we’ve got a pretty good-sized tailgate going.

Some years we have a large crowd. Other years, it’s a smaller group. But we always have a good time.

And naturally, I take care of the music.

I’ve always enjoyed putting together playlists. I was doing it long before Spotify made it easy. Back then, it was mixtapes and CDs. I like picking out the songs, figuring out what works together, and occasionally throwing in something that people haven’t heard in years.

These reunions got me thinking about what the soundtrack to our own version of The Big Chill would sound like.

If you’ve seen the movie, you know it’s about a group of old college friends who get together years after graduation for a funeral. The soundtrack is a big part of the movie, filled with songs that take the characters back to their younger days.

I suspect if I asked everyone at our reunions to put together their own Big Chill soundtrack, we’d get some pretty different results. We didn’t all listen to the same music in college. But I’d also bet there would be quite a few songs that showed up on everyone’s playlist.

I’ve put together several playlists for our reunions, including one inspired by The Big Chill.

I called it MTM: The Soundtrack of College: 50 Songs from 1985–1989.

I’ve included it below. Maybe you’ll hear a few songs you haven’t heard in years, or ones that bring back memories of your own college days.

One of my favorite things about these weekends is when someone hears a song and says, “I used to have that album,” or “I haven’t heard that song since college.”

And it happens quite frequently.

That’s what I enjoy about making playlists. Sure, I could just put together a bunch of hits from our college years, but I like digging a little deeper. Finding songs we used to listen to that don’t get played much anymore. Sometimes it’s a song I haven’t heard in years myself.

And every once in a while, I’ll play something that makes someone stop what they’re doing and say, “I forgot all about that song!”

That’s when I know I’ve picked a good one.

Of course, the same song might bring back completely different memories for each of us. That’s part of what makes music so interesting. We may have been listening to the same songs 40 years ago, but we don’t necessarily remember them the same way.

It’s Okay to Go Back

As much as I enjoy seeing my old friends, one of the best parts of organizing these reunions is watching other people reconnect.

Sometimes someone shows up who hasn’t been to one of our reunions before. They might not have seen some of these people since college. But it usually doesn’t take long before everyone is laughing and telling stories like they just saw each other last week.

I particularly enjoy it when someone comes for the first time and realizes it’s okay to go back.

We all have our own lives now. Careers, families, kids, and in some cases, grandkids. We’ve all gotten older, although I’m not sure any of us want to admit how much older.

But for one weekend every couple of years, we get to be those college kids again. Or at least pretend to be.

There are still a few people who tell me they’re going to make it to one of these reunions someday. Some have been saying that for years.

I hope they do.

Because the older I get, the more I realize that we shouldn’t keep putting things off until someday. We’re not getting any younger, and there are no guarantees that everyone will be around for the next reunion.

If you want to see an old friend, make the time to do it now.

I’ve never had anyone tell me they didn’t have a good time at one of our reunions.

And as long as people want to keep getting together, I’ll probably keep organizing these weekends.

I enjoy the planning, the music, and seeing everyone. I don’t do it alone, and I certainly couldn’t pull off the college weekends without my wife and the friends who pitch in.

But somebody has to get the ball rolling.

And apparently, that somebody is me.

Back to Ringo

I don’t know if Ringo Starr ever thought of himself as the guy who kept the Beatles connected. Maybe he was just the one who managed to stay friends with everybody, even when the others weren’t getting along.

Whatever the reason, it’s interesting that in 1973, when the other Beatles weren’t ready to make music together again, they were all willing to make music with Ringo.

I’ve never had to deal with anything quite like the breakup of the Beatles. My biggest challenge is usually finding a restaurant that can accommodate everyone or figuring out how many people are coming to the tailgate.

But I understand the satisfaction of keeping old friendships alive.

People get busy. They move away. Years pass, and before you know it, it’s been 10 or 20 years since you’ve seen someone who used to be part of your everyday life.

Sometimes all it takes is someone picking up the phone, sending an email, or saying, “Hey, why don’t we get everyone together?”

I guess I’ve always been that guy.

And when I listen to Ringo now, I think about more than just the music. I think about four guys who changed music forever, went their separate ways, and still had one friend they were all willing to work with.

I guess Ringo is a pretty good guy. Maybe I am too.

Are you still getting together with your high school or college friends? And if you were putting together your own Big Chill soundtrack, what songs would have to be on it?